Warped Reality
by SA Hanaka
Summary: On the eve of Dudley's Birthday, Harry awakes to an entirely different universe, and nothing is as it should be... Not that Harry knows that. Detailed blurb for every book inside. Aspects of Multicross. Variable Strength Crack. Everyone OOC.
1. The Prologue

Warped Reality

Summary: On the eve of Dudley's Birthday, Harry awakes to an entirely different universe, and nothing is as it should be... Not that Harry knows that. Detailed blurb for every book inside. Aspects of Multicross. Variable Strength Crack. Everyone OCC.

Ownership Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I ever expect to own, Harry Potter, Ranma ½, Baccano!, Black Lagoon, How To Train Your Dragon, or any other franchises mentioned or referenced in this story. No profits are gained by writing this at all.

Other Disclaimer: This is, as a fanfiction, an alternate Universe to canon Harry Potter. Whatever happens is what happens, I'm writing this fic, so I have the final decision on how it pans out.

Persons Disclaimer: Any Character described with resemblance to persons alive, dead, or fictional is purely coincidental. Unless it isn't. Hail Chaos.

Update Disclaimer: I am a busy man, with a busy life full of videogames, and not videogames. And food, which falls under not videogames. Point being that I will update as often or as rarely as I feel like. Having said that, I will attempt to post updates semi-regularly. If I choose to discontinue this fic, I will declare such on my profile rather than simply stopping outright.

Animal Protection disclaimer: No bunnies were killed in the making of this fanfiction. I think.

Warning Disclaimer: This fanfiction will contain elements of Gender-Bending, Insanity, Crossover, And implied non-content of questionable nature. Possibly. It's also pretty much just plain crack.

Enjoyment Disclaimer: It's starting now, I hope you enjoy. However you cannot sue me if you don't.

Introduction Warning: I lied, it starts after this. The prologue is a standard day of Harry Potter canon(ish) pre Hogwarts. Feel free to skip forward to chapter one if you wish. Or read this. Either way, _now_ it's starting.

-=+_SA_+=-

**Prologue: The Day Before Everything Was Different**

As Harry climbed out of the cupboard, he blearily shook the cobwebs from his head, literally, and moved into the kitchen to begin cooking breakfast. Instinctively he checked the clock on the oven, which displayed 06:07, as he began to pull out frying pans from the cupboard. There were quickly five rashers of bacon, four sausages, and some bread being fried, and Harry opened up a tin of baked beans and deposited half of the tin into a sauce pan, even as his aunt watched him from her seat in the dining room.

Harry had just deposited the entirety of his cooking onto a single plate and placed that plate onto the table when his uncle, Vernon walked into the room. He sniffed in derision and murmured "Adequate." under his breathe. Harry merely ducked his head and returned to the kitchen.

He almost immediately refilled the saucepan with more baked beans and the frying pans with another seven rashers, three sausages, and some eggs. This time he had returned to the kitchen after depositing the plate on the table by the time his cousin, Dudley appeared. While Dudley began to stuff his face at a much faster rate than his father, Harry began to prepare the light salad that made up Petunia's breakfast.

Dudley's dirty blond hair came from Vernon, as did his unfortunately large girth. His bland pale blue eyes however came from Petunia. On the other hand Vernon had sharp brown eyes, and Petunia had rather ordinary brown hair and a stick-like figure.

None of his family had any of Harry's features. His mess of black hair came from his father, as did most of his looks. His eyes however, a rather charming Emerald green came from his mother, Petunia's sister.

As Harry handed the salad to his aunt and began to wash up the cooking utensils used in making everyone's breakfast, he watched his aunt. As soon as she looked away to eat her salad, he grabbed a single biscuit from the biscuit tin and stuffed it into his mouth. No one saw him, and he quickly munched it down as he continued washing up.

As soon as he was done, he put two slices of bread into the toaster and got out the butter. Harry himself was only allowed toast and a meagre amount of butter for breakfast.

Almost immediately after he finished spreading, the post arrived.

"Get the post boy!" Said Vernon clearly between two bites of breakfast.

Sighing inaudibly, Harry retrieved the post, a bundle of letters for his uncle for the most part. Even as he turned back towards the dining room though, he saw Dudley casually flip his toast onto the floor with an evil smirk.

"Harry! Clean that up!" Came the shrill call from Petunia, even as he watched Dudley waddle back to finish his own breakfast. Harry quickly placed the post next his uncle before taking the toast and binning it. He was at least glad he slipped the biscuit in as he wiped up the butter residue with a cloth. He knew from past experience that to take the toast down the corridor to the front door would be met with punishment for spreading crumbs, and eating the toast from the floor would result likewise for 'eating like a mongrel'. Thankfully he had the mess cleaned before Vernon decided to deal out additional punishment.

Although that may be because the two adults were a bit preoccupied.

Even as Harry slipped out after breakfast to spend another summer day in the fresh air, he knew he wouldn't get away with walking out the door if not for the date. Most days he'd be worked to the bone with chores. Doing anything less than perfect, on any one job, would result in Petunia scowling at him, and Vernon yelling abuse until he was purple in the face.

Dudley wasn't much better either. He was a bully to Harry, plain and simple. Dudley kept Harry friendless at school, occasionally instigating beatings on him and anyone he tried to make friends with. Dudley would also act out and make messes in the house just to get Harry into trouble; because no matter how blatantly Dudley did whatever he did, Vernon and Petunia pinned it on Harry. Dudley couldn't be anything less than Petunia's perfect little angel after all. He once even pushed Harry down the stairs. Harry had broken his arm, and had to go to hospital. Even now three years later, he still had the jagged scar on his arm.

As Harry skimmed through the day, doing all the chores he knew were on the list, Petunia sent Dudley out as she snooped around the house, hiding presents, and Vernon made some calls and went out to get a few last minute ones that capped the total number at 36 gifts, wrapped and spread throughout the house. Harry mostly ignored them, but Petunia would be up before even he rose to get them all down into the living room before Dudley got up. After all, it was going to be his birthday.

Still even as the day wound down, Harry only ate a modest dinner, and was yelled at for not washing up the plates well enough afterwards. He thought they were fine, but as was mentioned before: Nothing short of perfect in the Dursley household.

Harry ended up lying on his thin mattress, covered by a tiny blanket, in the cupboard under the stairs. He couldn't help but think about his life so far, how much his so called 'family' loathed his existence it seemed. Not for the first time, nor the last time if things had continued as normal, Harry fell asleep wishing he could have a real family who actually loved him.

No one could have foreseen what happened next though…

-=+_SA_+=-

A/N: This hopefully will be immediately followed by the first real chapter of my complete warping of Harry Potter. Assuming of course, I work out how exactly Fanfiction works. Shouldn't be too hard right?

Either way, things will really start to get going in the first real chapter! This was mostly to set the bar of how I picture Harry's treatment by the Dursleys, since you probably know how almost every author has a different take on it. Then again, how Harry was treated won't make much difference for much longer.

Obviously, this _is_ my first story, but I assume if you're bothering to read this, then you probably think it's OK, decent, or otherwise readable. Having said that, this being my first story is not an excuse if you think this is terribly written. But then this prologue is almost entirely exposition, so if you want to see what I write like when not blathering description, feel free to press next.


	2. Book 1 Chapter 1

Harry Potter and The Reality Shift

Join Harry Potter as he learns that he is a Wizard! And as he meets all new faces in a world completely different from his own. Harry is about to see the reality is not as fixed as he would have once thought. By the end of the next academic year not only will he be armed with a beginners knowledge of magical spells, but will know much more of a certain alchemical stone, and the fact that nothing is impossible.

**Chapter 1: The Day Reality Shifted**

Slowly, Harry began to stir. He needed to get up early today, he knew that. So he only pulled the blankets tighter around him for only ten second rather than a whole minute.

More blearily than usual, Harry dragged his hand across his face to brush off any errant spiders. Waking with an arachnid on your face was not pleasant, but it happened more often than not when you sleep in a cupboard under the stairs.

Then he reached a hand out of the blanket to stretch up, searching for the pull string which served as a light switch. His eyes were still closed tightly shut.

It was only after having flailed a limb for a full minute that he came to the conclusion that the pull string wasn't there. Then he realised that he should have punched the wall at least seven times while blindly searching for it. The conclusion Harry came to was that the walls of the cupboard were further away than he remembered.

Warily, Harry opened his eyes.

Nope, this was definitely _not_ Harry's cupboard. This was very unusual. As Harry sat up and took in the sight of the room, he vaguely recognised it, But he couldn't recall where from. Slowly, he rolled out of the comfortable bed and crept over to the window. Harry peeked through the gap in the curtains.

He recognised the street as Privet Drive, he could see number 3 over the road. He must have still been in number 4. It took a moment to click though.

Harry was in Dudley's second bedroom.

With that realisation, the panic began setting in. His mind ignored the lack of toys, broken or otherwise. His mind ignored how the walls were a soft green instead of a deep blue, how the wardrobe was full of clothing that would fit him and not Dudley's girth, and how the room was just generally too tidy to be Dudley's.

Harry rationalised that he'd get in trouble for sleep walking into Dudley's bed, even if it was a spare bed, and so began straightening the covers to hide the fact that he was ever sleeping there. That was when he spotted the digital alarm clock on the bedside table; happily showing the time of 7:59.

Harry froze.

You have to understand that Harry had been getting up at 6 o'clock for a good few years now, despite being 10 years old. If he didn't, he simply didn't have enough time to cook Vernon's breakfast before he got downstairs. If he didn't have Vernon's breakfast ready in time, Vernon would rant and rave and eventually deny Harry his breakfast with a red face. This would also mean he wouldn't have Dudley's breakfast ready in time, so Dudley would complain, and more yelling from Vernon would result in him being denied lunch as well by his now purple faced uncle.

This meant Harry was accustomed to getting up at 6. And seeing the clock showing 7:59, he couldn't imagine anything good happen as a result. Harry was internally screaming, his was physically unable to leave the room as he stared at the clock in silent horror. But then it got worse.

The clock turned to 8:00. The alarm went off.

Within a mere three seconds of beeping Harry had hit the alarm clock, turning it off. His action was instinctive in it's effort to hide the fact that he was inside the room. His brain was forgetting though, that to hide his presence inside a room with an alarm clock, he should leave the alarm going.

He spent only a few seconds realising _that_ before _she_ happened.

"Good morning Harry?" Said a young girl as she pushed the door to the room open. Her greeting warped into a question though; seeing him standing upright, and staring at her in bewilderment.

"Hey cousin, You okay? What's wrong?"

Harry's brain couldn't take any more. It was already overworked and over panicked. It responded to the girl calling Harry 'cousin' by force stopping all functions and rebooting.

In short, Harry fainted.

-=+_SA_+=-

It was just a short hour later that Harry was sat on the doorstep of number 4, watching the world pass by as he absorbed the apparent differences. For one, he was sitting on the doorstep of a house on Privet _Road_.

Some families were different, for example the boys at number 7 who were playing football in their front garden did not look familiar. Some people were different, like Mrs Figg who had walked past with an air of dignity that Harry had never seen before. She also kicked a cat out of the way, which directly contrasted the cat loving nature that he knew.

Physical differences were smaller, a tree here, a flower plot there. Most noticeably out here was the presence of a Motorbike on the Dursley's driveway. The biggest differences he'd seen so far were Dudley and Petunia. Dudley was no more, replaced by the slip of a girl Rose. She had his blond hair, but it was better cared for than Dudley would have. On the other hand, she shared Harry's bright emerald green eyes.

On the other hand Petunia what the same in her physical attributes, except she was much happier and more cheerful. Additionally Petunia was about seven months pregnant, but otherwise she still had her long neck and narrow eyes. Vernon had left the house before Harry woke up, so he didn't know how different his uncle might be yet. The one thing he did know though was that he himself was completely the same. He couldn't see any differences in his own body and couldn't remember thinking differently.

Oddly, though Harry didn't know this, the clothes in his cupboard were a slight bit large for him, as though he had shrunk a bit overnight.

"Hey, got you some toast"

Harry was suddenly brought out of his thoughts by a plate held in front of his face. His hand moved up to take it as Rose sat down next to him. Almost robotically, indicating how much he was thinking, he took a bite of the toast. Raspberry jam, Harry's favourite, although none of the Dursleys should have known _that_ to his knowledge.

"Are you doing any better?" She asked, worry in her voice. "Mum's already called off the zoo trip until you're feeling alright" she continued when he didn't answer immediately.

This was odd. Petunia cared enough to actually make him breakfast, even if only toast, and Dud- uh… Rose also seemed to care in ways that Dudley never would.

"Yeah, I think I'm doing better…" He slowly said once he swallowed the first mouthful of toast. "But, uh… Why is there a motorbike on the driveway?"

Rose blinked at him, somewhat perplexed; "Well, it's yours. Mum says some guy in a weird cloak showed up one day and told her to keep it for you. Sounds mysterious right?"

Harry stared at the oddity, the bike which was unusual by it's very presence. It was a black Triumph Bonneville T120, although the Triumph logo on the side had been replaced with what looked like some kind of stylised face.

"It's odd, I swear that sometimes it moves on it's own, and it's changes logo at times. Dad says I'm just imagining things though…"

Harry took another bite of toast as he continued to examine the bike. It was only a few moments after Rose stopped speaking that the headlight flashed on briefly. Harry began coughing and choking on the bread in his mouth.

"Hey, you alright?" Rose began hitting Harry's back in an attempt to help. After a few moments, Harry managed to swallow his mouthful and wave her off.

"Did…" Harry coughed once more "Did the bike just _wink_ at me?!" He asked incredulously.

"Hrrm… Yeah, I suppose it did"

Harry looked at Rose in shock. She was being entirely too calm about this, although she did say she had seen the bike move by itself too…

"Say, Rose…" Harry began, not entirely sure where he was going to go with his thoughts "I think something weird happened last night… But uh, can I ask you not to interrupt me until I'm finished?"

A dainty eyebrow rose on Rose's face, "Go on…"

And so Harry began to talk. He talked about how he didn't remember Rose, how she had replaced his overweight bully of a cousin Dudley. How Harry was called a freak, and did a lot of the chores. How Harry was held back so Dudley could be seen as better, even as Dudley out in no effort into anything but attacking Harry. Harry said how the Dursleys would never have kept a motorbike for him, how people were not acting the same at all, but how Harry himself remained unchanged.

Harry mentioned how Petunia's pregnancy, and Dudley becoming Rose were the only physical changes to a person he'd seen, but how he himself hadn't changed. And when he revealed the scar from when Dudley pushed him down the stairs, Rose confirmed that Harry as she knew him never had that particular scar. She also confirmed that Harry seemed a bit skittish.

"Any ideas?" Harry asked desperately.

Rose stayed silent as she examined all that he had said. "Maybe… You're in a parallel universe?"

"Uh, a what?"

"you know," Rose continued "the idea that there are many realities which are similar but all slightly different in one or two ways. It's obviously similar enough, because you recognise people and such, but it's different enough where it matters."

Harry looked clueless; "Is this a thing I wouldn't know about because it's weird or freaky?"

Rose nodded slowly "it could be seen that way, yeah…" Suddenly something seemed to hit her, and Rose leapt up and faced Harry "I am so sorry for what the other me did to you over all these years…"

Harry couldn't help it, he could feel a tear forming in response. He managed to blink it away though "Don't mention it, literally. Besides, even if you're right, you're not Dudley. Can't be held up for actions that you didn't do…"

Rose smiled a tiny smile at Harry. That was when the Universe started to make even less sense.

With a small _pop_, a young woman appeared on the pavement not five metres from the pair of cousins on their doorstep. As she turned to Harry, allowing them to see make out her features. She wore a long flowing robe, and her pink hair framed her heart shaped face nicely.

"Harry! Are you ready to go?" The woman paused and tilted her head to the side, squinting at him, "I thought you'd be taller…"

Harry was struck dumb, his mouth left flapping. Rose took the initiative and asked "Who are you?"

"I'm Tonks, nice to meetcha. I'm here on Dumbledore's orders too take Harry to… HQ…" Tonks starting looking around as she trailed off. Very quickly alarm ond confusion settled onto her features. Harry and Rose exchanged glances.

"Um… Who's Dumbledore?" Harry asked.

Alarm gave way to barely restrained terror as Tonks whispered, "You don't know who Dumbledore is?"

A second _pop_, and there stood a Grizzly, scarred old man. Unlike Tonks he was staring right at the three of them when he appeared. Also unlike Tonks one of his legs had been replaced by some Wooden contraption with softly glowing blue script covering it, and one of his eyes had been similarly replaced with an electric blue orb that whizzed around in every direction.

Tonks flinched quite heavily at his arrival.

"O' course he don't know who Dumbledore is. Look at him, you're _early_. Again" Even the man's voice was rough from years of use and misuse.

Even before he finished speaking Tonks was studying her watch. She paled, skin and hair, to a ghostly white, "Four books early…" She whispered.

"Which is why you should be practicing CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" His voiced raised until he shouted the last two words. And Tonks disappeared with a soft _pop_.

The man stomped over to Harry, reaching into his large coat ignoring all the outside pockets, "Don't bother asking who _I_ am, that's unimportant" He pulled an envelope out and dropped it in front of Harry, leaving him flailing to catch it. "That's your acceptance letter to Hogwarts. You're a wizard. Yes, magic is real. No, I'm not going to prove it. Yes, you'll need a wand. You'll buy it in three days around two in the afternoon"

The man's fake eye fixed onto Rose for half of a second, before whirling a second and fixing on some point above the house. "You know, you're rather lucky. If it hadn't happened, you'd have lived a rather poor life for the next seven years. Now you get to be just Harry with a loving family. Still have bigger fish to fry, but you won't have to deal with any fame you didn't earn this time around"

Rose had an eyebrow raised, only looking slightly more confused than Harry, whose face was contorted in bewilderment. Being closer to clarity, Rose managed to get her head straight quick enough to ask, "What was all that about being _books_ early?"

The man chuckled. It sounded like a belt sander was getting tangled on itself. "Don't worry too much about her. The DoM can't figure out how she does what she does. it's a mystery. It was only with their help that I managed to get back here to put her in place. Just good fortune I also thought to get Harry's letter. Still, I best be moving out. Keep your wits about you Harry, you've got an interesting few years ahead. Constant Vigilance!" The man spoke with an authority that seemed to transcend meaning.

Then he suddenly turned and stared up directly at you.

"You too! As much as real life lacks magic and wizards, never know what might happen! Better be prepared than get caught off guard… CONSTANT VIGILANCE! The lotta ya!"

And with naught but a _pop_, The man was gone.

For a moment there was silence. Harry's face slowly found it's way back to it's normal untwisted look as the pair of them thought about the ranting of the strange man.

"Well, that was odd. Especially how he yelled into the air at the end there. Makes you think that someone might be watching us" Rose mused, tapping her chin with a finger.

"I- Um… What do you think he meant? About fame and earning it myself?" Harry asked, his face still creased in thought at the new insight he had.

"No idea. But hey, you're a wizard! That's pretty cool! Might explain how you hopped to this dimension. I get the feeling you weren't expecting that though"

"No, not really…"

Rose paused for a moment to think about the situation, what she knew and apparently Harry didn't. "Tonight. I'll tell you about it tonight. About aunt Lily I mean. What I know at least. For now let's head inside, if you're feeling better then we might still be able to go to the zoo!"

As Rose practically skipped into the house, Harry followed her in. One thing was for sure though.

No matter how much he thought about it, Harry couldn't remember any aunts called Lily…

-=+_SA_+=-

As Harry entered the Living Room, where Petunia was seated on the sofa. Rose was already glancing back towards him making him feel self conscious and causing Petunia to glance at him inquisitively.

"Are you feeling better now Harry?" Petunia asked as she looked him over.

Harry if anything seemed more uncomfortable as the woman who, as he knew it, never gave him a second glance was showing genuine concern…

Rose however seemed not to notice Harry's growing discomfort. In fact she couldn't take the silence much longer.

"I wonder if I might be able to do magic…"

It was a murmured musing. But in the silence, Petunia heard it clearly enough to draw her attention to the envelope clasped in Harry's hand. Her eyes widened a slight amount and the words "It's early" slipped from her mouth.

Harry glanced at Rose, "…Uh, I'm feeling a bit better."

Petunia looked between the children, a lingering suspicion in her eyes. "Are you sure? I know you both wanted to go to the zoo, but you shouldn't push yourself."

"I'm sure!" Harry belted out almost immediately, " I mean, it's just something weird happened this morning, but I'm fine now."

"Anything else you want to tell me about?" Petunia's thin eyebrow raised itself forming a dignified face that told Harry she knew something was up. Somehow her being pregnant just seemed to amplify the effect.

Admittedly, she was thinking about the letter in his hand. He thought she knew more than that, specifically the fact that he was somehow not the Harry that she lived with the previous day.

But, despite his fidgeting, Petunia merely continued a few seconds later, "We'll discuss _that_ later. But if you're really better, it's still early enough to go to the zoo. Depending on if you feel up for it of course."

Harry just about managed to nod. Rose almost had stars in her eyes from excitement. Petunia simply smiled, a caring smile that helped Harry calm down a bit despite his apprehension regarding his aunt.

As Petunia got up to make her way towards the dining room, Harry couldn't help but let out a silent breath of relief.

-=+_SA_+=-

The zoo, it turns out, was a short drive away. This in itself wasn't terribly bad, but because the only driver in the Dursley family was Vernon, it was getting into the car that Harry finally met the man. The Vernon of Harry's past was a beefy man who appeared cheerful at first glance, but had one of the shortest fuses in human history. For every ounce of muscle though, he had another ounce of fat.

The 'new and improved' Vernon looked mostly the same, perhaps a slight amount more muscle and less fat. It wasn't his body that made him appear different though, this Vernon had a completely different disposition in that he lacked one. Rather than coming across as a big man, one's first impression was 'brick wall' and in all honesty, he acted like one too.

As one spent time with Vernon, one would find that he has a demeanour impenetrable by even the most persistent annoyances. Truthfully he only found any enjoyment in two things: Work and family, but even among his family he was stoic as ever, only a slight smile poked out when he dropped his guard.

As the four climbed into the car, Vernon moved with machine like efficiency, well he did once he helped his wife into the car. Rose was bouncing excitably, but Harry seemed to be acting as if a guillotine hung above him.

It was only once the car began to move that Rose really noticed how Harry was tensed up like a coiled cobra.

"Psst, Harry. What's your issue _now?_"

Harry barely heard the whisper, but still, he relaxed a bit. A tiny bit. "I… I don't quite know what to think about, uh… your dad"

For maybe half a second, surprise crossed Rose's face, before a light smile took it's place. "I wouldn't worry about it. he's the most emotionally untouchable guy in the world. Never seen him take a single uncalculated movement my entire life. He's nice enough on the inside too."

Contemplation crossed his face as he pondered that he _was_ probably being rather silly about Vernon.

Sighing, Harry risked a question, "What was I like before…"

Rose paused. After a couple of moments of thought with nothing but the noises of traffic she spoke even more quietly than before. "You were… shy, gentle. You always seemed to avoid other kids when you could, but you loved animals." Rose fixed her sharp eyes to his, stared into his very being as she continued, "he was a bit more outgoing, but otherwise the same. When alone he was free and he knew it. I hope he's okay where ever he is. Now you've replaced him though."

Rose looked forwards, wistfully smiling, "I guess you aren't him really. I hope he's okay, but now you're here. That means I have to take care of you I suppose…"

Harry stared at Rose, perplexed, no knowing what to say in response. The adults in front seemed to be unaware of the exchange. But Harry stayed silent for the remainder of the journey.

It was as they were leaving the car that Rose sidled up to him and whispered, "Sorry about that. You always used to tell me that I got a bit too introspective at times."

Harry turned and flashed a small smile, "don't worry about it." Even as he subconsciously realised that Rose might not be quite as accepting of the situation as she appeared...

-=+_SA_+=-

The zoo was nice, Harry enjoyed it, even if he was mostly just getting used to having a family that seemed to like him. Rose was always pretty close, whether making sure he didn't run off, or just looking out for him, Harry didn't know. In fact, other than the extremely odd circumstances, the trip was mostly just like a normal zoo trip. Until, that is, Harry entered the reptile house.

The reptile house itself was ordinary enough. lizards, snakes and all sorts were lazily draped over rocks and logs. All of them were behind a pane of glass, with heater lights hanging overhead. Like most of the zoo, excitable children were running about the place, staring into the exhibits as if the creatures would move by the intensity of their gaze.

It was as Harry walked in that he saw a particularly uninhibited brat knock on the glass of a boa constrictor exhibit. Thankfully for the poor snake, his mother grabbed him by his wrist and marched him away, scolding him all the while.

Harry slowly walked up to the glass to peer into the exhibit. The Boa lay draped over a log, soaking in the warmth, and apparently not bothered by the child's knocking.

Harry sheepishly smiled at the possibly sleeping snake, "Sorry about him. Not sure why I'm apologising really, guess it's just 'cos we're both kids."

The snake slowly swung around and stared at the odd boy who was talking.

"I imagine he doesn't mean anything by it…" Harry sighed, "I don't even know why I'm talking to you."

_"Neither do I amigo. but don't sstop now." _Came the Spanish accented voice.

Harry blinked.

"Did you just talk?"

The snake seemed to chuckle, _"It only sseemss polite to reply when ssomeone talkss to you amigo"_

Harry almost fell over. Once he recovered though, he managed to shake the bewilderment from his head and introduce himself almost flawlessly, "I'm Harry! You're a snake!"

Thankfully the snake didn't appear to be insulted, instead it began writhing about. Maybe it was insulted. or in pain. Who knew. Slowly it appeared to recover and shake it's head, _"I never imagined that talking to you upright people would be thiss funny. But then, of you never sseem to undersstand me anyway. The sservantss here have never lisstened to my requesstss for some lady company… All to the sshame. My name is Rodrigo, amigo."_

That was when Rose saw Harry in front of the massive snake exhibit.

"Hey Harry, I lost you for a minute- Oh wow! he's beautiful!"

_"Now thiss sseñorita knowss how to compliment a ssnake!" _Rodrigo hissed as he lifted himself up to properly look at the cousins.

"Hello there, this guy must be the most active snake in this place" Rodrigo drooped a bit, _"That'ss a real sshame. Looks like just you can understand me amigo."_

"Yeah, it appears so…" Harry said.

Rose spun to Harry and stared. "Did you just hiss?"

"Uh, no?"

Rodrigo turned back to Harry, a smirk almost visible on his face, _"I'm ssorry to ssay thiss amigo, but yess you are. Only reasson I sstarted talking back wass that you were sspeaking ssnake-tongue."_

"I actually- What?" Harry's face warped into confusion as he stared at Rodrigo.

"Don't tell me you can actually understand him" Rose tentatively asked.

Harry just nodded in shock.

"That's pretty cool! I wonder if this guy wants out or something…"

_"Not a chance sseñorita. I like the warmth of thiss lamp far too much to brave the cold Britissh weather."_

Harry turned to Rose and stated, "Apparently, he's rather stay there to avoid the cold. But he did say earlier he'd like more lady company"

As it was, Harry had a straight face while he spoke. That was enough to convince Rose who still freshly had the idea that magic was real in her head. Having said that, if Harry was much older he might have held back the 'lady company' comment. If Rose was much older she might have flushed in embarrassment at the 'lady company comment'. If they were both older, Harry would probably have been slapped, causing Rodrigo much amusement. Alas, they were both ten years old, and Rodrigo didn't have any more amusement there.

"Fair enough, I guess since he's a snake, it makes sense that he'd avoid the cold. Anyway, Petunia wants us back to have lunch."

"Alright then, just let me say goodbye, _See you around Rodrigo, or not. Hope you get your lady company though!"_ Harry waved as he walked away with Rose while Rodrigo chuckled to himself and began lounging again.

'One day', he pondered, 'I might just…'

Only a few minutes later, Harry was explaining how the Boa Constrictor was called Rodrigo, while the Dursleys, and Harry, ate a lunch of McDonalds. Rose happily listening while Petunia listened on, amused at the children's imagination.

-=+_SA_+=-

It was about 6h00 that the Vernon pulled back into number 4 Privet Road. Harry followed Petunia through into the kitchen and asked to help make dinner. It was a pleasantly surprised Petunia that said yes. It was when the food was almost ready that she brought it up.

"I see you picked up a letter somewhere" she said as she stirred the sauce of the simple curry being cooked.

Harry paused in taking the plates out of the cupboard, "Yeah"

Petunia smiled wistfully as she kept stirring, "You should have received it on your birthday truth be told. I always wondered if maybe Rose might be magical too. I suppose we'll find out on her birthday. Still, I'll see if I can contact someone to help get you to Diagon Alley to buy your supplies."

Harry wordlessly nodded, confused as he tried to understand what his aunt was talking about.

It was after a quiet, but happy meal that Rose retreated with Harry into his room. She sat on the chair in front of the desk as Harry lay on his bed. they stayed like that for a good ten minutes, one staring at the other who had closed his eyes.

"I guess I'll start from the top then…" Rose began.

Harry opened his eyes, but remained lying.

"Even from when we were little, mum always told us about her sister, aunt Lily. Your mother." Harry shot up and stared right back at Rose. Their eyes met as Harry silently implored she continue.

"She was a witch. I mean, she was magical, could cast spells. Like you're a wizard."

Rose turned and stared out the window, "Mum always said that she wished she was magical too. But she was still able to see the wonders of magic by being Lily's sis. She always said you'd go to Hogwarts and make your mum proud. She never hid that you were magical, I'm just not sure dad knows. He probably does."

"Do you know where she is?" There was a desperation in Harry's voice that surprised Rose for a second, before she frowned.

"No… All I know is what she is. I'm not sure mum knows either. Never told either of us when we asked before. It seems like she just…disappeared around nine years ago…"

Harry slumped back down onto his bed, put out. Silence lingered for a while before Harry broke it once more. "Do you think me talking to snakes is magical?"

Rose thought for half a second, "Probably. It's odd how you can only talk to snakes. I'll admit though, it was fun running around to see if you could talk to anything else."

Harry had a small smile now. "Maybe it's a species specific thing. I can talk to snakes, another wizard to birds or dogs or something.

"Could be." Rose mused. Suddenly a grin split her face, "I suppose you'll be able to find out soon enough!"

Harry's smile grew as he replied, "Yeah. Soon."

The two continued to stay there, enjoying each others company before Petunia came up to tell them to get ready for bed. Even as Harry curled up into his comfortable bed, he marveled at how quickly he came to trust Rose, and how much love Petunia showed him here.

Soon after he fell asleep, an engine started up, and the sound of a motor bike driving off echoed through the late night air. It returned an hour or so later, as a motor bike pulled back into the Dursley's drive, and it's rider got off and looked up at Harry's window…

-=+_SA_+=-

A/N: I only started putting Harry's parseltongue in italics once he was aware he was hissing. All of his speech with Rodrigo the snake before then was also hissed, but no one was close enough to hear it.


End file.
